Wounded

Barely slept. Eyes red. I hate this. Time to put on that fucking mask – that mask that says to the world, “everything is okay” because I don’t want to deal with explaining “what’s wrong”…not a priority today. Quite frankly, I don’t want to believe it’s really over between us. I love him.

Seriously! How is it that in just three weeks the man you plan to build a future with starts with saying to you, “I’ve made my choice. You will be my future” to telling me “I’ve had…I just don’t feel love”? Ugh! How could you? I can’t believe this shit. How can he be so cruel? How can he just walk away so easily?

Such a fool I was for thinking that I could share everything with him… my life, my time, my family, my dreams, my pain, my pleasure, my shame, my heart ❤. I let a big piece of my heart fall and he caught it. I was so happy! But, he was careless with it; he played with it. He dropped it then stepped on it! My heart; I was ready to give him the whole thing. He would’ve destroyed it with just two sentences. I was ready to take his name. I was ready to love him more deeply than I’ve ever loved anyone.

There’s this lump sitting in the back of my throat. I’m choking up and holding back tears. It’s hard to swallow. It’s ironic; I’m not angry at all. I’m bruised – severely bruised. That’s surprising. I’m deeply wounded and feel disregarded. I know that I’ll forgive, I’ll move on, my heart will mend, and I’ll live to love another day. But, for now, today…

I weep. This fucking hurts. 💔 😢

—- N’cki Jaxon

#ammar #sadnnes #agony #love #heartbreak #pain