Random Thoughts

It’s eight o’clock in the evening. Today was mentally tough. I couldn’t concentrate on my work because he was constantly on my mind. I think of him and look east wondering if he’s looking in my direction.

I wonder if he thinks of me as much as I think of him. I wonder if he dreams of me as often as I dream of him. He pleasantly haunts my dreams. I wonder if his heart aches a little when he thinks of me and I’m not there. Mine sure does.

Sometimes, in bed before I’m off to sleep at night, a feeling of sadness comes over me that today wasn’t the day… the day, I thought he’d call and say, he wants to stay with me all of his days. I go to sleep dreaming of what could be if I could possibly be the one, that special one just for him.

It seems as though the universe has conspired to keep us apart, for now. Thanks, COVID-19. I’ll jump at the chance to run to him just to find out if there’s a chance for us to have a future together. For now, I suppose we take this time apart to keep getting to know each other. But, this doesn’t feel like a sustainable way to keep a relationship. I wonder if he’s as invested in figuring this out between us. I don’t want the sun to go down without having taken a chance with him.

Do we let go of this dream, “of what could be”?

Do we simply move on from thinking this could possibly work?

Do we fight to cross an ocean for love?

—-

N’cki Jaxon, @TheOnly1LadyJ

#conflicted #random #ammar #lovebychance #dreaming #randomthoughts #fightforlove