Day 19 - Gratitude Challenge 2021

Ever have a person exit your life and you're happy about it? That's me. While this anomaly hasn't occurred often, I can say that I've had one person, in particular, enter and exit my life that I was happy and sad about all at the same time. At one point, I was even angry. I'd like to say that it was easy for me to move on, even in my happiness, but that simply isn't true. I couldn't understand why I was feeling hurt if I was so happy to end things with this person.

Until one day, it just hit me! This person whom I was no longer happy to see regularly - for a few reasons - was the person who would in fact force me to look at myself, my heart in a manner that I hadn't in a long time. He challenged me in many ways but the most important way was that he challenged me to simply open my heart to be vulnerable. And, that for me, meant that I was not only open to love again but also the other emotions that can occur when we're vulnerable with others.

I couldn't move on until I had acknowledged his role in my life was one that I absolutely needed. I was living in a fog and hiding behind the pain of past traumas, which were keeping me from fully enjoying life and the new people who entered into it. For him, I am so grateful because, without his presence, I would not have been prepared or open to meeting a new love!

He came to mind today as I thought about showing gratitude to people who have been important in my life. I never thanked him as I allowed anger to blind me from the blessing that he gave to my life. I believe it's never too late to say thank you and show gratitude and today that's what I'll do!

Today, I will send him a handwritten note, without any expectation of response nor, will I solicit a response. I simply want to simply him a note to say that thank you and that I am grateful for his presence in my life. I hope that my note will bring a smile to his face and soften his heart. I may never know how the note is received. But, at least, I can smile knowing that I've expressed gratitude for him helping me become open to love once more!

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N'cki Jaxon