Just 44 things!

For the last 10 years, on my birthday, I have taken a trip somewhere in the world I’ve never been in an effort to rejuvenate and reflect on my life behind me and to become more in tune with the present, look forward to the future and realign my life with the path for which I am meant. I’ve received several calls and people have asked, “how are you celebrating your birthday since you’re not traveling this year?” Thanks to COVID-19, I, along with others, am unable to travel the globe. But, that hasn’t stopped me from exploring the world and being grateful. I decided to take a virtual trip around the world and I discovered that I've visited almost every place that I ever wanted to visit. What a blessing that is! While there are many places I have not visited, my virtual journey has led me to seek new globetrotting desires. Well, until such a time when I can once again travel, I’ve decided that what’s better than travel is to share a reflection of gratitude for each year of my presence on this great earth.

I am grateful for...

1. My mother! Her will and perseverance, over the years, through adversity has inspired me to simply keep going as “there is light at the end of the tunnel”.

2. My maternal grandmother! She taught me to be resourceful.

3. My paternal grandmother! She taught me that it’s okay to be a “tuff cookie” and still be a lady. She taught me discernment and how to see through people’s BS. She’d tell me, “go out there and do what you gotta do and don’t take any wooden nickels from anyone”.

4. My father! He has taught me the meaning of true compassion and generosity, by the way, he lives his life and honors his friends, relatives, and neighbors. I may have a long way to go to get to the level at which he does it but he’s nonetheless instilled these qualities in me.

5. Chocolate! Listen, not everything is that deep or serious! Chocolate helps me smile and helps me to remember precious moments with my maternal grandmother. I mean, I also think of Tupac when I think of chocolate! LOL I’m grateful!

6. My daughter! My daughter, some would say, lives in a bubble. But, she has such a positive outlook on life and consistently sees the good in the world and in people. Watching her is a reminder for me to often go back to a time when I was less skeptical of the world and people.

7. My son! His ability to tell a story and captivate you the entire time will have you on the edge of your seat and the physical animation that he uses to paint a picture will have you in stitches.

8. Kisses! It’s been said, “Because with the right person, sometimes kissing feels like healing.” I can’t speak on the scientific validity of this but I can say that a great kiss is worth more than words. It gives me all the feels!

9. My siblings! Like many, my siblings were my first friends. While many people can say this, fewer people can say that as adults that their siblings are still their closest friends. I am fortunate that I can share my happiest and darkest times with them without fear or judgment.

10. My brother! My brother has taught me the meaning of forgiveness. As an adolescent, I was the biggest shit towards him. I know people who have not talked with their siblings in years or are simply content with being estranged from their siblings. My brother’s compassion and kindness towards me then and today is always a reminder to me to be forgiving of those who’ve wronged me. It’s not easy by any means, but it’s something so far that I’ve been blessed to be able to do!

11. My Aunt Beverly! Watching her has taught me the true meaning of being hospitable She has, for as long as I could recall, opened her home, heart, and wallet to anyone who was in need. Her actions are the epitome of what it means to cultivate a hospitable mind and spirit.

12. Career Mentorship! The mentors, both male, and female, whom I have encountered along my career journey have poured into me in ways that help me to foster a spirit of confidence, truth, and integrity in my work such that I’m never afraid to push back or speak up as needed.

13. Sisterhood in my mentorship! I’ve heard plenty of horror stories about women not being able to work together because of jealousness. I can say that I have never had that experience. The female influences (and advocates) that I’ve had in a professional environment are remarkable women in their own rights! Sharon McCarter, Maria-Stella Gatzoulis, Kimberly Lewis, Kate Hurst, Hermione Phillips, and Jocelyn Quinitchette. I keep a piece of each of these women with me as I continue to reach for new goals.

14. Handwritten notes! They simply make my heart flutter. I love the thoughtfulness behind such a gift. I’m grateful to those who share them with me.

15. The gift of manifestation! I am grateful for the gift of being able to manifest my dreams, which by the way I believe anyone can do! But, I have literally done this since I was a child. When I was young, I did not travel with my parents but I read plenty of books and loved encyclopedias (okay, telling y’all from which century I am. LOL). I can recall sitting on the front porch reading about Constantinople (now Istanbul) and seeing photos of the beautiful landscape and architecture. I loved seeing the palaces and learning about the Ottoman and Byzantine Empires. I, literally, thought to myself, “one day, I’ll visit there”. Fast forward, many years ahead, I’m visiting the Topkapi Palace Museum being threatened with ejection because I was sneaking photos that were not allowed. LOL Hey had to take a chance!

16. Cousins! Many people underestimate the power of the cousin relationship. In addition to my siblings, my cousins were and are my friends. Cousins hold a special place in my heart because whichever part isn’t occupied by a sibling, is where a cousin lives! They can be your treehouse buddies, co-conspirators, or your audience for whatever product you’re producing all while telling you to keep your shit together. Cousins help keep me connected to my non-nuclear family across generations.

17. Friends of the non-blood relation! As cliche as it seems, people with great friends know that there’s no explanation needed for the bonds that you share. You have your inside jokes and your own language that only each of you can understand. They are truly the “relatives” that you have chosen to be in your life and they may or may not understand all of your quirks but they don’t judge you for them either! There’s nothing more comforting than to sit with your friend in silence knowing that he/she is simply there when you’re ready to be open.

18. Love Your Brain Foundation (LYB)! Simply put, this organization is full of amazing people and helped provide me with a sense of understanding during a time when I felt like no one understood what I was going through. Having gone through, what I called a minor accident, I didn’t realize how it affected me until I, literally, lost my memory and the ability to comprehend things or even put words and thoughts together in a coherent manner. LYB Foundation not only helped me to navigate through those times but they helped my family to better understand what I was experiencing. I am forever grateful!

19. Lavender, rosemary, cinnamon, and vanilla! The calming and soothing effect that these scents have on my mental health is unmatched. I am indebted to the earth for nurturing these plants so that I can reap the benefits.

20. Hotels! I mean c’mon there’s room service, turn-down service, concierge, and housekeeping all under one roof! How can you not love it and be grateful for the creation of such a thing? I’m more than grateful!

21. BaldManEntertainment, Inc! No explanation needed here, the right people will understand it! LOL I’m simply thankful!

22. Surviving Domestic Abuse! What I’ll say is that living through the trauma of domestic abuse taught me that I was stronger than I thought I was, I was braver than I ever imagined and I was a fighter! Living through these experiences also helped me to further embrace the spirit of true forgiveness and the power that forgiveness has to propel you forward in your life!

23. Personal bartenders aka my sister! The ability to craft the perfect cocktail is a true gift. I’m thankful to be her tester for what she creates in the lab (my kitchen).

24. Music! There’s a song that perfectly conveys every emotion/feeling for which I’ve ever had. I am appreciative of music’s healing properties.

25. Great love! I’ve been blessed to experience three great loves in my lifetime. Whether the relationships ended because of death or a conscious decision, the love was real and true. It will always remain and help guide me to be more open to love today and in the future.

26. Humor! There is nothing like laughter to help heal your soul. The people in my laugh have plenty of it and I am filled with gratitude for being on the receiving end of their humor and wit.

27. Intuition! Learning to listen to and follow your instincts can be difficult for some; it was for me. But, I’m thankful that I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m not afraid to walk away from that which does not serve me well because my instincts led me to keep moving. I’m also thankful that the opposite is true when my instincts lead me to embrace what’s good for me. In a nutshell, I’ve learned to trust myself more.

28. Failure! Growing up a “perfectionist” eventually led me straight into a brick wall. I learned that there is no such thing as perfection and come to fully understand that there is no shame in what others may perceive as a failure. Why? Because I had the guts to try it - whatever ‘it” is!

29. Self-awareness! There’s nothing more humbling than coming face-to-face with your own character flaws and learning to fully confront them in order to embrace them. Only when that is done, can one begin to work to improve such things.

30. Adventure! Of course, I’m grateful for my ability to travel and meet new and interesting people. Within the last 10 years, I’ve explored 42 countries. While there are many more to visit, there aren’t enough words to express my gratitude for having the ability to explore this vast globe.

31. Hair dye! Look, once you’ve gotten through all of the self-awareness activities and you begin working on “the new you” there’s nothing wrong with a little adventurous reinvention! I’ve been a brunette, a blonde, and a redhead. I’ve embraced the personalities of all of them. LOL What have I learned? I’m awesome no matter what my hair color is!

32. Home! I can’t forget one of the most basic human needs - shelter! People often take for granted that having a place to call home is a luxury and sometimes a source of stress. The gratitude that I have for waking up each day is not just a home but a home that I purchased on my own is not something I take for granted, especially having seen true poverty first hand.

33. Embracing my full self! When you learn to break through the noise surrounding your mind telling you that you must strive for physical perfection, there’s a comfort in the silence that you feel once you can fully accept yourself at every stage of your physical health journey. Hell some days, I’m slim, other days I’m curving, other days I’m just fat and other days I’m simply fit and healthy. No matter what the day, I remember that I am grateful that I fully love and embrace myself in any physical form. Life is one big wave and I’ll just keep riding it!

34. Neighbors! Listen, my neighbors are some of the best neighbors. They cut my lawn, shovel my walk, check on me when I’m ill, watch my home when I'm away or even inform my kids (when they were younger) for not wearing proper uniforms to school! LOL They are awesome!

35. Sunsets! I chase them. I love them. They are magical. That’s all!

36. A good cry! This has not always come easy to me. For a long time, I thought that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. Now, I know how wrong I was! I am grateful for my ability to simply let it out!

37. Jaune, Gelb, Giallo, Amarillo, Yellow! Whichever way you say it, it’s a great color. While it isn’t my favorite color, it always makes me smile, lifts my spirit, and just makes my skin pop whenever I wear it!

38. The beach! I don’t really need to explain this, right? It’s the beach!

39. My tribe of namesakes! They are simply fabulous people - Niki T.; Niki B.; Nikki D.; Nikki H.; Nicki T.

40. Creative inspiration! I am very much a left-brained dominant person. I am genuinely grateful for my family and friends who are inspiring creatives. For without them, there were times when my kid’s birthday parties would have been a hot mess. They rocked it!

41. Knowing my strengths and weaknesses! The previous item reminds me that I am grateful that I know what my true gifts and abilities are and that I am open to allowing others to use their gifts so that we can create beautiful harmonious things together.

42. Tea! No, really, tea! Having the time to sit with a loved one (family or friend) and share a cup of tea can lead to healing! Whether your tea has medicinal benefits or therapeutic conversation happens, you’re being nourished either way. I’m grateful for Pop’s gift to create the perfect tea. I’m here for it and love my tea!

43. Alone time! I am thankful that I’ve learned how to embrace being alone and enjoy it. Doing so has given me the courage to take adventures by myself. I’ve had experiences and have met amazing people that I may not have met if I were traveling with someone else. Embracing “alone time” has given me the courage to see myself and learn to love all of me and improve as needed. If I couldn’t enjoy spending time with myself, who else would enjoy spending time with me? I’ve got to love me in order to love each of you and allow you to love me!

44. Waking up & Breathing! Yes, I can’t forget the most important thing! On Tuesday, May 19th, 2020 at approximately 12:08 pm I turned 1,388,534,400 seconds! The fact that I am breathing, healthy, and sharing this with you (or, whoever wants to read it) is the best blessing! Be well!

(Now, if I didn’t mention you by name here it doesn’t mean that you are nonetheless important to me as all of my encounters have helped to shape who I am today!)

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N’cki Jaxon, @TheOnly1LadyJ